Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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