I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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