I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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