I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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