This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
