Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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