lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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