Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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