batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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