Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize