My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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