that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
