I think I won the penis lottery.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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