let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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