There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
