haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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