I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
