Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
