TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The beer is more important than you right now.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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