need another drink. this is the easiest way
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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