My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
