1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
