Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
