I wannas sexs uuuuu
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
