oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
