Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
