almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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