I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
