I think I won the penis lottery.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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