I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
