Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
