Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
