i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
