are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
