i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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