i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
