My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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