the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I wish I only lived at night.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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