So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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