i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
