i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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