Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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