Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
