i think my tv is drunk
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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