btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
