Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
