that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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