Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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