so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
me + whiskey = a bad person
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
