why didn't you poke me back
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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