It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
