So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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