i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
