i permit you to call me
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
