I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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