her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
