The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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