Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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