I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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