Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
