he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm both gender and math confused
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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